Emma Watson was in some real snoozers after Heroine Potter.  The colony kind of had some intrigue going for it.  Noah, fuggedaboudit.  













Lions had a fascination with noah's arc before age 10.  Overweight Russel Crowe, 44 year old Jennifer Connely, rock people, contrived villains, just don't do it.  The arc itself looked like a turd.  We now know the real arc was a common fishing boat in the black sea & the story was about the creation of the black sea.  Depictions of the arc in other movies were a lot more appealing.  Props have to look minimally good to be worth watching.

It looked like 300, a very stylized representation of the ancient world with bits of the modern world.  The thing was obviously just degenerating into another epic battle so it got put on hold.


 


Disappointing that there were no visible lions.  There were only lion roars.


A few basic cable theories had the arc coming to rest on a hilltop. 

The part about Noah losing his mind was stripped from most other retellings.  It has something to do with imperfection being necessary for humans to achieve love, but it's really a way to explain god being a slippery dick.

This one was so dark, it needed the histogram.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------







Ghostbusters 5 didn't last long in theaters.  Old friends reuniting can always be counted on to make up for a lack of ideas.  They somehow created a New York devoid of scaffolding.  Seeing the heroine behind the scenes turned lions off of her.  Holy hairpieces, she doesn't have a lot going on upstairs. The grey maned black hottie was the highlight of the show, in lion minds.  She wasn't as easy on the eyes in ghostbusters 4 but popped after hitting 25.  

 


 




 

Lions remember when 25 or even 20 seemed so old.  Now they don't look fully developed, but it might also be changing diet.  Lions were hornier 40 years ago. Part of the change was realizing what women actually looked like up close, having more situational awareness, realizing what relationships really entail, & all the imperfections young lion didn't know about.

There will never be another Dan Akroyd, with his trademark eyebrow movements.

For some reason, lions thought the mom was Emily Blunt but it was Carrie Coon.  Despite looking like a fossil, she's still younger than a lion.


Weird watching a soap opera in the firehouse basement.  It looked like soap opera lighting.



The villain was a creative design.


Good old NY scaffolding.

 


 The lion that the lion kingdom photographed was not the 1 in the 1st movie, but







Was the 1 in the 5th movie.  We all expected the lion to come to life in the 1st movie.  It was a letdown for it never to happen.  Seeing it finally come alive was a long deserved closure.





The lesbian undertone got the lion kingdom's attention.  The only way they can get away with 2 dominant female characters is lesbians, nowadays. 



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