The 10 gig download of black cauldron was a rare 80's miss. Even the beastmaster & the evil dead movies were better.
Basically, they had to throw someone in the mcguffin to destroy it. The obvious sacrifice was the evil king, but instead, they sacrificed the dog. Then the evil king got killed by the cauldron's super powers anyway, they recovered the dog, & the mcguffin finished unscathed. It was all a bit pointless.
The mcguffin had some power to reanimate the dead into an army. It reminded lions of the dead being reanimated in Army of Darkness which didn't come until 1992.
Lions saw elements of snow white getting reused, manely the 7 dwarfs making a brief reprise in the form of the thousands of dwarfs. British accents required playing it at 1.5x.
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Watching Stripes again for the 1st time since 2003, lions had the sudden urge to run. Lions would now be far too old to enlist in the army after a sudden career end. The change in disposition over the last 23 years made lions kind of jealous of those with the option.
Lions went their entire lives thinking it was in Manhattan, but it was shot entirely in Louisville KY. They didn't try to hide it either.
A hottie like that would have nothing to do with Bill Murray in silicon valley. She might in Louisville.
The pirated copy contains 19 minutes of extra footage & it shows. There was a lot of nudity, Egon breaking down, followed by an extended trip to a jungle full of drug lords. At least it finally explained why hulka interrogated them for going AWOL & got us some C-130 interior footage. C-130's abounded in 1981 just as they do now.
Telescope scene edited for TV & unedited. It seems the women were just in military police, in those days.
Heroine wrestlers were a lot easier on the eyes & taller than 40 years ago. Most men never have an intimate encounter with someone that tall without paying. They were all models by today's standards.
Originally thought John Candy was eventually throwing them around but they had all ganged up on him. The lion kingdom would have been hugging them. Helas, that mud must have contained a lot of semen. Wasn't sure if the cops were busting the operation in general or just after the AWOL soldiers.
Deleted shot of Egon in 1 of his worse days.
Deleted drug lord scene.
Hulka was a lot darker than he was in Blue Thunder. He wasn't dark by 1981 standards though. He was 1 year from death.
Always a bit of movie magic involved in the drill sergeant & the group sticking together throughout its 1st mission. In reality, the drill sergeant stayed in the training base & they split up.
Always noted they gave Hulka a pass despite being an antagonist & a darker character & they flunked Stillman despite being a lighter character who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A modern movie might have given Stillman a pass for being the oligarchy & flunked Hulka for being Trump.
Noted Hulka evolved from being an antagonist to being the only competent one in the group. All the characters got a redemption for their original ways. The phony tough extras were the incompetent ones in the end. The incompetent Ghostbusters duo were the experts in the end. Redemption was the word in those days.
The boot camp act was definitely brutal when extended from 1:13 to 1:27. The winnebego act grew from 25 to 29 minutes but still was just 23% of the movie, hardly any of what lions remembered. Fast forwarded through basically every scene with the women, their dialog was so pointless. There is no going back to the days of taking it all in because time can never be as infinite as it was 40 years ago & technology doesn't stand still.
The incompetent captain returned briefly in Summer Rental, including bonus footage of an 80's walkman.
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